Pure Joy

When the lock didn’t give in, I checked and saw I was turning the key wrong. ‘Ecstatic much’, I mocked myself. After a brief pause, I reminded myself that I have no reason to not to be happy- I was promoted!
And my position was higher than his.  I’d always told him, I will go places.  Suddenly I could feel the weight of that letter. I hurriedly bolted the door shut from the inside, and sat on the sofa. ‘We are pleased and honoured to inform you that you have been promoted…’ oh finally, after eight months! With the letter still in my hand, I calculated my new pay. I could see my house getting painted, my sofas getting replaced and loads of shopping in the days to come. Life was going to be so much better.  When I couldn’t choose between lavender or crimson curtains, I became conscious of the growing sounds from my bowel. Huh, was I hungry. I got up and went to the refrigerator. Apart from milk which was more than a week old, there was nothing inside. ‘Useless’, I thought and I went straight to the kitchen shelf. Nothing. My hunger was growing. 2 in the night, and I had nothing to eat. With blurred images of someone going and getting me pasta at 3:30 am ages ago popping in my mind, I was getting the first tears in my eyes. ‘No!’ I screamed. I decided to tell myself what I had been telling myself since the last four years, since I asked him to leave me. ‘I can take care of myself!’ I shouted. And finally I broke into tears, lots and lots of them sliding down my cheeks.
It was the biggest lie of my life.
It was a big city, I was thousands of kilometres away from my home, and I was alone. All alone. The house, at once, was emptier than ever. I felt loneliness nagging at me. I stared into the space in front of me, and found nothing but hollowness. Pinching. I glanced down at the letter, now just a piece of paper on the floor.
Sobbing, I looked at the fancy wall clock I’d bought last month. 3:30.
I took my phone and dialed the number after almost an eternity.
Two rings. ‘Hello?’ said a familiar voice. ‘I’m hungry’, I told him.
‘Will be there in a few.’

 I wept of joy.

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