Positive Attitude…huh!

Attitude is what shapes us. Having positive attitude is not negotiable but indispensible. And the story goes on…

It would not be an exaggeration to say that almost everyone, in some way, is always trying to stay positive, look at things and experiences positively and act positively.  In fact, many new definitions of staying positive also have come up that behaves as a support. But what’s the truth of Positive attitude? Let’s take a moment and examine what it means, step by step.

When do we say ‘be positive’? Yes, it doesn’t figures in moments of happiness. It takes a lead only when things do not go the way we wish them to be. So, essentially, staying positive means being hopeful.  Hence the next question -What is ‘Hope’? Hope is about feeling and expecting that the wish be fulfilled in some future; that things would take turn in our favour; that there is silver lining behind every cloud and so in my case too; and that everything happens for the best; and… the story goes on.

But when we are saying be hopeful for future, are we actually not saying that the present is bad; that I do not like this moment; that this moment is a sacrifice for the sake of some future; etc.? Don’t you remember the popular sayings and slogans like – ‘Sacrifice today, reap tomorrow’, ‘No pain, No gain’ etc.! These words are almost part of our DNA.  O yes! I do know you hate to notice this, but…you also know – Indeed, this is what we mean.

Let’s go little further. If I am feeling miserable right now, if I am feeling like a victim right now, if I am feeling powerless right now, if I am feeling broken right now – can I take any action which will have a quality of happiness, or masterpiece, or impactful, or total? Obviously not! A broken heart can only sing sad songs. And songs of happiness would only be a stupid pretention.

So the first thing that’s surfacing is – Actions taken from a state of hope are not the best ones. They are not expression of our true potential. They are not our real flowering. They are mere actions to manage the show, somehow. They are outcome of our fearful minds which says that ‘See…come-what-may, this has to be done.’

Let’s explore and understand another dimension of it.

Being hopeful also is an indication that I am not in sync with the reality.  Since reality is not liked, so I create some imaginative scenarios with desired outcomes which actually is creating a virtual reality. Obviously, this virtual reality is a dead thing.  It’s not alive. It’s a projection of the mind. A modified projection as per mind’s wishes and desires.  But Alas! we have been taught (conditioned) so much about dreaming, that not creating this virtual reality…!!! OMG!!! How is that possible!!!

Nevertheless, the fact remains. And the fact is – one may keep praying for the virtual reality to become reality, but there isn’t any guarantee. In fact, till the time one keeps counting on the virtual reality, it keeps colliding with the reality and gives nothing but only pain. And so, one keeps oscillating between the two ends of the pendulum – pleasure and pain. Sorry to say, but existence has no interest in one’s personal dreams and desires.

It wasn’t something amusing that I heard in conversation with an elderly person, who feels he has accomplished everything in life he had planned for. He said, ‘Dreams are the only place where one can be happy. Otherwise, life is so miserable, never so happening.’ All I could say was -What a miserable life you had!

So what is the way?

Well, all that can be said is –First, look at your hopes.  Let the bubble of hope burst and then you would just know the appropriate action. If you would know the reality, eye in eye, you would also know ‘It’s Okay’. This is a very powerful statement that makes you the Master, not the victim. It is about understanding that in every situation, all I can do is ‘act accordingly’. Situations are external and they can’t be change. Now the action that emerges will not be in accordance with the virtual reality, but in the light of facts according to the existing reality; not feeling miserable and victimized, but with a complete responsibility and ability. Realize that you are not disabled (mentally), and so no mental support is needed.

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